She was a junior in college. It was her friend. They were drunk.

It would take her four years after she graduated in 2007 to actually say the words “I was raped” out loud.

“The alcohol proved as a barrier of me actually coming out and talking about it,” Jolie Moran said. “I didn’t know if it was something that I did wrong. I wondered if people would believe me, knowing that I was intoxicated, so I didn’t report it.”

Today, Moran is the alternatives program coordinator at Vera House, a Syracuse-based nonprofit that provides support to victims of sexual and domestic violence.

 

 

Throughout the month of April, Vera House is working to improve city-wide awareness of sexual assault cases as part of Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Vera House will be holding events and continuing its educational initiatives, one of which was extended into this month.

In March, Vera House launched its White Ribbon Campaign, which spans across the city of Syracuse as well as area schools such as Syracuse University and LeMoyne College. The main goal of the White Ribbon Campaign is to promote awareness of sexual assault and encourage more people to discuss it.

Moran said she was terrified of telling her parents about the abuse because she didn’t want them to believe they did something wrong. But after years of counseling, she was able to be honest with them. She said her parents were incredibly supportive, something that would eventually help her come to terms with what had happened.

Bridget Yule, the director of Student Centers and Programming Services at SU, is working with a group of interns from the David B. Falk College of Sport and Human Dynamics to help make the campaign visible on campus. Yule, who is also a board member at Vera House, requires her interns to work 15 hours a semester on the project.

Intern Andre Marques said he’s already put in 30 hours because there’s so much to be done.

The group meets every Thursday to brainstorm new ways to promote the campaign. So far they have given out bracelets on campus and basketball games, participated in walks and have even created their own sticker that they sell in the bookstore and when they table in Schine Atrium.

The sticker, which says “No ExCUSE For Abuse,” was designed by Alyssa Miocevich, a junior advertising and policy studies dual major.

The interns decided to create a sticker because they talked about how many students put them on their laptops, and thought their message could really stick as well.

“It’s showing students what resources they have at their fingertips,” said Marques, an undeclared freshman in the Falk College. “Even when students come up to our table and don’t have money for a sticker, I can still provide them with so much information on things from what an unhealthy relationship is to where students can get help.”

Yule said Vera House focuses not only on the “after” of the assault, but also put in a lot much work on the preventative side.

As someone who was in an unhealthy relationship herself in college, Yule said many students don’t necessarily realize what a toxic relationship looks like. Rape isn’t the only example of an abuse or assault — stalking, going through a significant other’s phone, isolation and other tactics are all signs.

Vera House is working to teach people to recognize these signs and hopefully prevent them from escalating further, Yule said.

“This problem has so many different faces — it’s not just black and white.” Yule said. “When it stops you from living a normal life, that’s when it’s not OK. It’s that ownership that we at Vera House want people to begin to recognize.”

In addition to college campuses, Vera House works with elementary, middle and high school students around the greater Syracuse area to begin the prevention at an early stage. At the elementary level they focus mostly on “good touching versus bad touching,” while with older kids they work on identifying relationship violence.

Currently, Vera House is working on their Clothesline Project, which will be hanging in Destiny USA from Monday until Sunday. Survivors of sexual assault and their allies took T-shirts and, with puffy paint and fabric markers, wrote messages and their experiences on them. The shirts all hang on clothesline display.

Moran said that not only is it good for survivors to share their stories, but it also allows for survivors to stand in solidarity with one another.

The shirts hang in a winding path on the third floor of the mall. It is respectfully quiet, allowing the shirts to seemingly speak their messages in voices. The shirts are products of parents and friends of survivors, adults and children, and range in sizes, tones and messages.

One after another, each shirt is emblazoned with powerful, personal messages:

“I will no longer: Drink, cut myself, stuff my face, sleep around, sabotage relationships, hate myself, feel responsible for what you did to me Uncle Pervert.”

“You ripped my clothes and I got in trouble. I was 7.”

“Love can be unconditional.”

“It feels like it was my fault.”

“I wear a mask.”

“You may have taken my dignity, but I am stronger than you.”

As much as Sexual Assault Awareness Month appears to be about pain, Moran said it is a month about hope. It is about looking forward to a healthier, happier world.

Moran insisted that healthy relationships do exist and people can begin to heal. She has been happily married for five years to a man she loves. Together, the couple has two young sons.

“Having boys it gives me the opportunity to educate them and hopefully look at them as our future,” Moran said. “Hopefully, they can help to begin to solve this huge problem.”

Published on April 12, 2016 at 10:24 pm

Contact: ararcham@syr.edu